Because a lot of men were taught that taking care of yourself is selfish.
I know that sounds simplistic, but it runs deep. I was taught — by example, not by lecture — that a good man takes care of everyone else first. His wife, his kids, his parents, his work. And if there's anything left over, maybe he gets some. But there never is. And that's the point. The empty tank is proof you gave everything. That's what selflessness looks like.
Except it's not. It's what self-abandonment looks like, dressed up as virtue.
I ran myself into the ground for years. I was exhausted, unhealthy, running on fumes, and I wore it like a badge. Look how hard I'm working. Look how much I'm sacrificing. Look how much I care.
But you can't give from empty. You can only give from overflow. And a man who's running on empty isn't giving generously — he's giving from debt. Everything he gives costs him something he can't afford, and the people around him are getting a depleted version of a man who could be so much more.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's stewardship. You're the only you there is. Treat yourself like something worth maintaining.
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